Coping With Disaster

Helping Children Cope

Children respond differently to disaster, depending on their understanding and maturity, but it's easy to see how an event like Hurricane Katrina could leave a child feeling a good deal of anxiety. Kids who lived in the track of the hurricane felt firsthand the threat of danger to themselves and those they care about. Now that the danger has passed, it's important to comfort your children and reassure them that they're safe. It's also important to be open and honest with them in discussing unseen consequences of the hurricane for your family.

Pre-School Age Children

Such behaviors as bed-wetting, thumb sucking, baby talk, or fear of sleeping alone may worsen in young children or reappear in others. Children may complain of stomach cramps or headaches and be reluctant to go to school. It's important to remember that these children are not being bad. They're afraid and their feelings are real.

Here are some ways to help preschoolers cope with their fears:

• Reassure them that they're safe. Provide extra comfort and contact by discussing the child's fears at bedtime and giving them plenty of hugs.
• Get a better understanding of their feelings about the entire event. Talk with them and find out each child's particular fears and concerns. Answer all their questions, responding with respect and comfort.
• Structure children's play so that it serves as a constructive outlet for expressing fear or anger.
• Try to create routines for them - e.g., daily walks, consistent bed times.
• Let them talk in groups or play about their experiences.

Grade School-Aged Children

Children this age ask many questions and it's important that you try to answer them in clear and simple language. If a child is concerned about a parent who is distressed, don't tell a child not to worry—that will just make him or her worry more.

Here are several other things to remember with this age group:

• Be realistic in your reassurances. Don't say disasters can't happen again. Children will know this isn't true. Instead, say, "You're safe now and I'll always try to protect you." Remind children that disasters are very rare.
• Monitor children's television viewing. Seeing replayed images of the hurricane and its damage can be frightening to children, especially if they think the event is happening all over again. Limit the amount of media coverage they see. Schedule activities—dinner, a walk, story reading, drawing, or a movie - during the evening news hours. Talk with them about what they have seen on TV and their reactions.
• Encourage expression through play or drawing. As with younger children, school-aged children sometimes find comfort in expressing themselves through playing games or drawing scenes of the disaster. Encourage them to do so and then talk about it.
• Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." Part of keeping discussions open and honest is not being afraid to say you don't have all the answers. Explain that disasters of this kind cause troublesome feelings even in adults.

Adolescents

Adolescents often try to downplay their worries. It's generally a good idea to talk about them anyway, keeping the lines of communication open and honest about the emotional, physical, and financial impact of the hurricane on your family. When adolescents are frightened, they may express their fear through acting out or regressing to younger behavior.

When dealing with teens, remember to:

• Provide careful supervision and additional support, especially for those teenagers with pre-existing emotional problems such as depression.
• Ask, as part of dinner conversation, how or if the hurricane was discussed at school.
• Monitor their media exposure to the event, including information received on the Internet.

Help children find ways to help others – no matter what age the child. Helping others to deal with tragedy can reassure and help the child cope. Children can draw pictures to give to others, write letters or volunteer to help prepare meals.

For more information and/or referrals to clinicians, call or visit the Mental Health Association of San Francisco at 870 Market Street, Suite 928, San Francisco, CA 94102. Our phone number is (415) 421-2926.